US News

Harry Dope · Guest

How to be a good Democrat

1. You have to believe that the AIDS virus is spread by a lack of federal
funding.

2. You have to believe that the same teacher who can't teach 4th graders how
to read is somehow qualified to teach those same kids about sex.

3. You have to believe that guns in the hands of law-abiding Americans are
more of a threat than U.S. nuclear weapons technology in the hands of
Chinese communists.

4. You have to believe that there was no art before Federal funding.

5. You have to believe that global temperatures are less affected by
cyclical, documented changes in the earth's climate, and more affected by
yuppies driving SUVs.

6. You have to believe that gender roles are artificial but being homosexual
is natural.

7. You have to be against capital punishment but support abortion on demand;
in short, you support protecting the guilty and killing the innocent.

8. You have to believe that businesses create oppression and governments
create prosperity.

9. You have to believe that hunters don't care about nature, but some
activists who've never been outside of Seattle do.

10. You have to believe that self-esteem is more important than actually
doing something to earn it.

11. You have to believe the military, not corrupt politicians, start wars.

12. You have to believe the NRA is bad, because it supports certain parts of
the Constitution, while the ACLU is good, because it supports certain parts
of the Constitution.

13. You have to believe that taxes are too low, but ATM fees are too high.

14. You have to believe that Margaret Sanger and Gloria Steinem are more
important to American history than Thomas Jefferson, General Robert E. Lee
or Thomas Edison.

15. You have to believe that standardized tests are racist, but racial
quotas and set-asides aren't.

16. You have to believe Hillary Clinton is really a lady.

17. You have to believe that the only reason socialism hasn't worked
anywhere it's been tried, is because the right people haven't been in
charge.

18. You have to believe conservatives telling the truth belong in jail but a
liar and probable sex offender belongs in the White House.

19. You have to believe that homosexual parades displaying drag,
transvestites and bestiality should be constitutionally protected and manger
scenes at Christmas should be illegal.

20. You have to believe that illegal Democratic party funding by the Chinese
is somehow in the best interest of the United States.

--
America - love it or leave it

Frank Pittel · Guest

You forgot the most important qualification.

In order to be a democrat you have to be a moron.

In alt.politics.usa.republican Harry Dope <IgnorantLiberal@aol.com> wrote:
: How to be a good Democrat

: 1. You have to believe that the AIDS virus is spread by a lack of federal
: funding.

: 2. You have to believe that the same teacher who can't teach 4th graders how
: to read is somehow qualified to teach those same kids about sex.

: 3. You have to believe that guns in the hands of law-abiding Americans are
: more of a threat than U.S. nuclear weapons technology in the hands of
: Chinese communists.

: 4. You have to believe that there was no art before Federal funding.

: 5. You have to believe that global temperatures are less affected by
: cyclical, documented changes in the earth's climate, and more affected by
: yuppies driving SUVs.

: 6. You have to believe that gender roles are artificial but being homosexual
: is natural.

: 7. You have to be against capital punishment but support abortion on demand;
: in short, you support protecting the guilty and killing the innocent.

: 8. You have to believe that businesses create oppression and governments
: create prosperity.

: 9. You have to believe that hunters don't care about nature, but some
: activists who've never been outside of Seattle do.

: 10. You have to believe that self-esteem is more important than actually
: doing something to earn it.

: 11. You have to believe the military, not corrupt politicians, start wars.

: 12. You have to believe the NRA is bad, because it supports certain parts of
: the Constitution, while the ACLU is good, because it supports certain parts
: of the Constitution.

: 13. You have to believe that taxes are too low, but ATM fees are too high.

: 14. You have to believe that Margaret Sanger and Gloria Steinem are more
: important to American history than Thomas Jefferson, General Robert E. Lee
: or Thomas Edison.

: 15. You have to believe that standardized tests are racist, but racial
: quotas and set-asides aren't.

: 16. You have to believe Hillary Clinton is really a lady.

: 17. You have to believe that the only reason socialism hasn't worked
: anywhere it's been tried, is because the right people haven't been in
: charge.

: 18. You have to believe conservatives telling the truth belong in jail but a
: liar and probable sex offender belongs in the White House.

: 19. You have to believe that homosexual parades displaying drag,
: transvestites and bestiality should be constitutionally protected and manger
: scenes at Christmas should be illegal.

: 20. You have to believe that illegal Democratic party funding by the Chinese
: is somehow in the best interest of the United States.

: --
: America - love it or leave it

--

-------------------
Keep working millions on welfare depend on you

Whoop-de-fucken-do. · Guest

"Frank Pittiful" <fwp@warlock.deepthought.com> wrote in message
news:D8CdnQYl4sD3z23YnZ2dnUVZ_g-dnZ2d@giganews.com...

George Grapman · Guest

Rail against homosexuality while letting the owner of a gay escort
service get a White House press pass.

Attack Democrats who served with honor as coward or traitors while
honoring Republicans who support wars as long as others do the fighting.

Have a president who claim to support private enterprise but used tax
money and eminent domain to build a ballpark.

Keep changing the reasons for a war. When questioned about it simply
accuse your opponents of being traitors.

Tell us in 1992 and 1996 that Clinton lacked legitimacy because he
never had a majority of the vote, In 2000 tell us only the electoral
vote matters.

Tell us in 2005 that Bush had a mandate with 50.9 percent but the
Democrats on 2006 with 53 percent have no mandate.

Have one of you heroes be a thrice divorced supporter of family
values, a drug addict who said more drug users should be locked up,who
accepted help from a group he called the "criminal liberties union" and
who railed about Clinton and the draft but avoided serving because of a
pimple on his ass.

Ignore the fact that after Whitewater,filegate,travelgate all Vince
Foster all Ken Starr turned up was lying about sex.

Spend 20 years blaming either a Democratic Congress or president for
deficits but after getting control of both branches lose interest in the
topic.

Tell us how morally superior you are but whenever a Republican has a
problem just say "(insert name of Democrat)did it,too.

When anything good happens under Buss give him credit.
Anything bad under Bush was the fault of Clinton.
Anything good under Clinton was because of Reagan.
Anything bad under Clinton was the fault of Clinton.

Tell us how raising the minimum wage causes inflation but no other
wage hikes do.

When all else fails just moan "Clinton,Clinton,Clinton".

Frank Pittel · Guest

In alt.politics.usa.republican Whoop-de-fucken-do. <LiarCavuto-AlQueda@foxnews.net> wrote:

: "Frank Pittiful" <fwp@warlock.deepthought.com> wrote in message
: news:D8CdnQYl4sD3z23YnZ2dnUVZ_g-dnZ2d@giganews.com...
: > You forgot the most important qualification.
: >
: > In order to be a democrat you have to be a moron.

: Spoken like a good Nazi.

Written like a good moron.

--

-------------------
Keep working millions on welfare depend on you

Server 13 · Guest

"Frank Pittel" <fwp@warlock.deepthought.com> wrote in message
news:ZfSdnbXMdJPbxG3YnZ2dnUVZ_uninZ2d@giganews.com...

C J Nelson · Guest

On Mar 8, 10:08 am, "Harry Dope" <IgnorantLibe...@aol.com> wrote:

Patrick · Guest

On Thu, 8 Mar 2007 11:08:37 -0500, Harry Dope wrote:

Patrick · Guest

On 8 Mar 2007 11:26:55 -0800, C J Nelson wrote:

_Iva Biggin · Guest

Frank Pittel wrote: